I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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