Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
