I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
