i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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