I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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