Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize