guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
