11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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