i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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