i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
