Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
