Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
