in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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