speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
