Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he puts the penis in happiness.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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