my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Porn is love you can see.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
