So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
