Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
