Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How does it feel to date your dad?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
