I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
