when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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