the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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