I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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