Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
