we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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