So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
