About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
