If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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