and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
