capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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