remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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