Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
