omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
