at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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