I think I died a long time ago.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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