I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize