"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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