I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
