I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
