I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
