Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
