Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he thought i was a dude.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
