You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
