I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I understand Curling. That high.
she told me i tasted like america
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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