I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Everyone says I win the strip club
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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