Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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