was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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