i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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