Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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