Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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