I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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