i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
