Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
