you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
