her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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