i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize