There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
