think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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